[EP15] The Cookie Situation
Kurt brought cookies. Nobody said anything. That was the first mistake.
Note: For readers new to the Mansion, each of the eight voices you’ll meet in this Session represents an archetypal part of the internal family system (IFS). These characters form a mythic council inside my psyche. Some protect. Some feel. Some process. Some burn it all down and start again. The identities placed after each name offer a label from my own psyche, reflecting their unique energy and role. You don’t need to know IFS to feel it. But if you do? You’ll recognize the exiles, managers, and firefighters by how they speak. And how they show up when the body is trying to say something the mouth won’t.
[Scene opens in the conference room. Everyone is already seated. The chandelier is steady. Trevor has his binder. Cyril has tea. Lenny has files. The room is calm in the way a room is calm right before it isn’t.]
[The door opens. Kurt walks in with a box of cookies. Half eaten. He sits down, puts the box on the table, and looks at no one.]
Trevor (The Conductor): [looking at the box]
Cyril (The Concierge): [looking at the box]
Lenny (The Collector): [looking at the box]
Kurt (The Curator): [to the room] Don’t.
Trevor: I wasn’t going to —
Kurt: Don’t.
Cyril: [sipping his tea]
[Dion arrives. He sees the box. He looks at Kurt. He looks back at the box. He sits down.]
Dion (The Comedian): [with great care] Those are… sandwich cookies.
Kurt: Yes.
Dion: The whole sleeve is gone.
Kurt: I’m aware.
Dion: It’s nine in the morning.
Kurt: [turning to look directly at Dion] Dion.
Dion: Yep.
Kurt: Stop talking.
Dion: Stopped.
Trevor: [opening his binder] Perhaps we could —
Kurt: I said don’t.
Trevor: I haven’t said anything yet.
Kurt: You were about to say something with a number in it.
Trevor: [closing the binder]
[Nels enters. He sees the box. He sits. He folds his hands.]
Nels (The Counselor): [to Kurt, warmly] Good morning.
Kurt: [a beat] Morning.
Nels: How are you feeling?
Kurt: Fine.
Nels: Kurt.
Kurt: I said I’m fine, Nels.
[Nels nods. Doesn’t push. Just stays.]
Lenny: [without looking up] You’ve been fine for three weeks.
Kurt: So?
Lenny: So that’s not a data point. That’s a pattern.
Kurt: [jaw tightening] What’s your point.
Lenny: I don’t have one yet.
Kurt: Then keep it to yourself.
[Casper enters, glances at the cookie box, and sits without comment. He pours himself something from a glass that appeared from nowhere and crosses his legs.]
Casper (The Casanova): [to the room, lightly] We doing the thing where we talk around it or the thing where we actually talk about it?
Kurt: Neither.
Casper: [nodding slowly] Around it, then.
Dion: [to Casper, quietly] He got the double-stuffed ones.
Casper: [quietly back] I see that.
Dion: The whole first sleeve.
Casper: Before nine.
Dion: Before nine.
Kurt: [not looking at them] I can hear you both.
Dion: We know.
Casper: We’re not hiding it.
Kurt: [to Dion] You want to say something? Say it.
Dion: [genuinely] I think you’ve had a brutal few weeks and your body is trying to feel something good and cookies are not the worst way to do that.
[A beat.]
Kurt: [quietly] Don’t be reasonable right now. I don’t want reasonable.
Dion: What do you want?
Kurt: [long pause] I don’t know.
Trevor: [carefully] Kurt. We’re all a little concerned —
Kurt: [sharp] About what? The cookies? My gut? What exactly are you concerned about, Trevor, because I’d love to hear you finish that sentence.
Trevor: About you.
[Kurt looks at him. Something moves across his face that he immediately locks back down.]
Kurt: I don’t need you to be concerned about me.
Cyril: [quietly] I know.
Nels: [equally quiet] We’re going to be anyway.
[Kurt reaches into the box. Takes a cookie. Eats it without looking at anyone. The room lets him.]
[Artie has been in his corner the whole time, sketchpad in his lap, watching. He sets the sketchpad down. He gets up. He walks over to Kurt. He doesn’t say anything first — he just climbs up into the chair next to him, which is slightly too small for both of them, and wraps both arms around Kurt’s arm and leans his head against his shoulder.]
Artie (The Creator): [after a moment, very seriously] You smell like cookies.
[Kurt doesn’t move. He looks straight ahead. His jaw works once. Then stops.]
[Dion looks at the ceiling. Casper looks at his glass. Lenny sets his pen down. Nels closes his eyes. Trevor puts his hand flat on the table and leaves it there.]
[Kurt puts his hand over Artie’s. Just sets it there. Doesn’t say anything.]
Cyril: [standing] I’m going to make breakfast. Actual breakfast.
Dion: [standing] I’ll help.
Casper: [standing] You absolutely will not. I’ll help.
Dion: I’m a good cook.
Casper: You made the toaster cry.
Dion: That was one time.
Cyril: Both of you come. Neither of you touch anything.
[They file out. Nels follows. Trevor pauses at the door, looks back at Kurt and Artie still wedged into the chair together, and sets his binder down on the table. Doesn’t take it with him.]
[Kurt reaches into the box. Hands Artie a cookie. Artie takes it with both hands.]
[The chandelier holds steady. Simon leans toward the window. The box sits open on the table, half-eaten, and for right now that’s exactly fine.]
End Session.